No One Goes to HELL for the FOOD

By Barry "Mustard Museum" Levenson

Directed by Suzan Kurry

Sister Janet is murdered at the exact instant that a convicted death row murderer is executed. They meet at the gates of heaven/hell. Hilarity ensues.

Produced by Mercury Players Theater at Bartell Theater's Drury Stage, 113 E. Mifflin St. , Madison

Performances: October 5-20, 2018

Performance Times:
Friday–Saturday, October 5–6 @ 7:30pm
Thursday–Saturday, October 11–13 @ 7:30pm
Sunday, October 14 @ 4:00pm
Thursday–Friday, October 18–19 @ 7:30pm
Saturday, October 20 @ 4:00pm

Ticket Prices: $20 General Admission, $18 Students and Seniors Special, $15 discount price on Thursday, October 11 & 18 ONLY

Call 608-661-9696 for reservations or more information.

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Auditions will be held on the following days:


Auditions will begin at 6:30 each evening.

Auditions will take place at the MercLab, 930 North Fair Oaks Avenue (East Wash at Fair Oaks, behind Roadway Tire)

Actors will do cold readings from the script. Copies of audition sides are available in advance from Stage Manager Amy Rowland at

At auditions, please be prepared to provide all conflicts from August 1–October 20.

Roles available:
Sister Janet Farrow - nun, mid 30s
Ray Cohannon - serial killer, 40s
Clerk/Cameraman - male or female, any age
Father Ryan/Freud - male, 80s
Lolita/Brandy/Heather - female, 20s
Elliot Braxton/Intruder/Guard - male, any age
Keeper/Guard - male or female, any age
Rivka - female, 40s, Jewish
Einstein - male, 70s
Clock Changer/Recently Dead - male or female, any age (a non-speaking role)
Clock Changer/Recently Dead - male or female, any age (a non-speaking role)