A Little Murder Never Hurt Anybody

By Ron Bernas

Directed by Jennie Ortega

The play is centered around Matthew Perry and his wife, Julia, and their annual New Year’s tradition. Matthew has resolved to murder Julia before the next new year, and Julia has resolved not to be killed. A hilarious year-long match of wits and the witless begins! As bodies begin to fall, Bunny Perry, Matthew and Julia’s sweet but dim-witted and deeply shallow daughter, and her fiancé, Donald, grieve about the ever-shrinking pool of friends who will be alive to witness their nuptials. Enter Detective Plotnik—a Sam Spade reincarnation who suspects everyone but hasn’t a clue, and Buttram, the family butler who is prone to crying jags and harbors a terrible secret. This spoof of and love letter to the screwball comedies of the 1930s and to stage mysteries in general will have audiences laughing from beginning to end!

Produced by Watertown Players at Watertown Players Theater, 210 S Water St, Watertown, WI

Performances: April 25 - May 4, 2025

Performance Times:
April 25, 26, May 2 & 3 at 7:00 p.m. and May 4 at 2:00 p.m.

Ticket Prices: $15 in advance or $20 at the door

Call 920-306-4364 for reservations or more information.

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Auditions

Auditions will be held on the following days:

3/15/2025

The Watertown Players are pleased to announce auditions for "A Little Murder Never Hurt Anybody", written by Ron Bernas. The show is being produced in partnership with Samuel French, Inc.
Auditions will be held at the theater on Saturday, March 15, from 9:00-11:00 am. No prior acting experience is required. No special preparation is required and auditioners will be asked to read from the script. To sign up for auditions, please go to https://signup.com/go/cvfDGvM
There are roles for six adults—2 females and 4 males—ranging in age from 25-55. The ages are a guideline and will in no way influence decisions for the right people for the roles. Rehearsals will be held on Tuesday and Thursday evenings and Sunday afternoons at the theater.
The play is centered around Matthew Perry and his wife, Julia, and their annual New Year’s tradition. Matthew has resolved to murder Julia before the next new year, and Julia has resolved not to be killed. A hilarious year-long match of wits and the witless begins! As bodies begin to fall, Bunny Perry, Matthew and Julia’s sweet but dim-witted and deeply shallow daughter, and her fiancé, Donald, grieve about the ever-shrinking pool of friends who will be alive to witness their nuptials. Enter Detective Plotnik—a Sam Spade reincarnation who suspects everyone but hasn’t a clue, and Buttram, the family butler who is prone to crying jags and harbors a terrible secret. This spoof of and love letter to the screwball comedies of the 1930s and to stage mysteries in general will have audiences laughing from beginning to end!